Bring your kids to work day…

While I realize there is a national holiday for this occurence, I for one appreciate it being dedicated to one day a year.  Calm down, I get the fact that emergencies occur, schedule conflicts and what not.  But seriously, why has no one made the goverment to say it’s a crime to bring them in, “just because”.

I’m not a parent, so yes “I don’t understand”…but why should I have to see it from your point of view if you won’t see it from mine.  If you invite me to your house, then fine, I will play nice.  However, if I am at work, I’m having deadlines, stress, workload from H E Double Hockey Sticks (I say that because you bring your kids to work and I’m not even allowed to say Hell)….then why am I the one looked down upon because my facial expressions screams, “WTF”?

After you notice my facial expression because your precious offspring have ran through the office playing hide and go seek, red light, green light and have visted every cubicle stealing things off their desks while screaming in delight like they are at a playground….do you feel like you have to make comments that are neither cute (like your bratty kids) or funny????

“Oh if Bobby and little Jan don’t behave, you will have 2 kids to take home because I’m not claiming them!”

Really?  You think that’s funny.  I have the same response every time:

“There is a reason why I don’t have children and don’t own a dog.  I have a cat.  I can leave out extra food and leave for 2 weeks, and she’ll be fine”.

I get all sorts of knee jerk reactions to this comment.  But it’s always followed by yet again, another unsolicited ignorant comment, “Some day, you will have kids of your own and understand!”

I don’t appreciate people assuming that because I’m packing heat, rather an uterus, that I will want to have kids.  I’ve tried all sorts of approaches in responding to people that like to assume this about me.  Nothing works, it turns into them wanting to recruit me to the “Parent Club” or a long lengthy discussion where they do not like my answers.

So for now, I’m settling on my new response that leaves the recruiter to question why they even bother speaking to me…”I’m selling my uterus on Ebay.  As is.  Never been used, seller does not guarantee it works but will tell you it has never been used.  Buy at your own risk!”

Back off people…if I want kids, you’ll know it the second I come waddling around the corner 20 months pregnant or if I appear to be as defeated as you with all your stains from puke, crayons, dirt, boogers, tears, etc.  Until then…do not assume you know me.  Katie out.